Fire and Lightning
by Prism Elf
Summary: The first of the guards reached her. She jumped back from his wild swing and raised her arms. She could. It would be so easy to give in. To be the monster everyone thought she already was…but, no. "Go Away!" She screamed at the tantalizing voices in her head. "I'm not going to give in to you! Not now! Not EVER!" (Written for Dragon Age Big Bang)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

The sound of waves crashing against the shore line called to her. Rolling, breaking, cresting, swooshing…the wind teased her hair pulling at it lovingly like a lover entwining his fingers around it. Playful tugs of affection and adoration. This was perfection. The grayish blue water of the Waking Sea slapping and smoothing the rough sandy shores of the Wounded Coast was a healing balm to her damaged and stressed mind. The sea breeze kicked up again bringing in the smells of salt and water. Vast unconquerable water as far as she could see, in this moment, was bliss. In her life joy and happiness were few and far between. But right then she was content with the path her feet had placed her upon, literally. It had led her to a little rocky outcropping overlooking the sea. A sea eagle circled overhead casting its long shadow along the shores rock riddled ground. The bird's sharp eyes focused purely on the waters licking at the cliff face.

"To be able to fly like that." Lena Hawke sighed. She was sitting cross legged on top of a boulder near the jagged cliff edge. The breeze was cool on the exposed skin of her face and hands. Her staff was perched purposefully and securely beside her within easy grabbing distance if necessary. Lena really didn't need the staff to defend her, but it helped her channel and focus her magic. If she concentrated hard enough she could still call magic to her without any problem, but it was more difficult and strenuous to do so. Not to mention the six inch blade attached to the end of the staff made it more of a spear than an actual staff. She was just as effective with using her staff as a spear as she was wielding her magic through it. Too many times she had been reduced to using her staff as a weapon instead of a medium. Just too many times she had almost drained herself completely.

The first time was with the Arishok; she had a bout of temporary insanity and had accepted his duel option in order to save lives…or well, Isabella's life. Another huff of air escaped passed her lips. At the time she had really considered the option of letting the Qunari take the pirate. She had been furious with her for taking the relic that the Qunari needed to get home. Not to mention she had known all along what the Arishok had been after. She could have stopped the Qunari from destroying a good portion of Kirkwall and many innocent lives. She shook her head. Her black shoulder length hair fell to frame her pretty pale face. That day had been trying as well as the hardest fight she had ever taken part in. Exhausted and drained she had resorted to using her staff as a weapon, which thankfully the Arishok had not predicted she would be able to wield with efficiency. Her being a decent fighter with the long arm had caught the Arishok off guard, but not for long.

Her shoulder throbbed at the memory of metal slicing flesh, muscle and nicking bone. Agony had raced through her body and dimmed her vision; she had landed on her hands and knees. Blood poured down her arm in dark rivulets and was starting to pool on the floor around her staff. Her fingers flexed with the memory of desperation and fear that had coursed through her. She had expected to die that day. But grim determination flooded through her in those moments. She wouldn't die alone. The Arishok would die with her. As the huge Qunari's booted feet clacked toward her, she willed her slack fingers to grip her staff. She needed to focus. There was no time for a healing spell to stem the flow of her wound. She had just enough energy left for one last spell.

"You were a worthy fight." The Arishok's voice rasped next to her. Her eyes focused on the gray marble floor slowly pooling with her blood. "Something not expected from this filthy city." He spat. His voice hard and flat with no regret, he was just taking out the trash. Concentrating the last bit of her energy she looked up at the Arishok towering above her his sword poised to strike. He was in no better shape; his body was littered with a dozen little cuts and scratches. Her lighting and fire spells had singed his horns and hair. But it was him or her. He was fighting to destroy her home…home. That's right Kirkwall was her home. She had lived here for years. Her mother had lived here. Her brother. Her uncle, jerk that he was, still lived here. Her friends hung out at the Hanged Man drinking and swapping stories. Her friends…she glanced in the direction of the stairs where her friends stood.

In that brief second she took in the looks on all their faces. Disbelief and shock were registered on their faces. Every one of their faces except…Fenris. His face was stoic and calm, though his eyes. His eyes held worry and fear. Fists clenched at his sides. His body radiated tension. That night they had shared flashed before her eyes in the barest of milliseconds. His lips on hers, searing her flesh. His gentleness when touching her; his fingertips flitted across her skin like the caress of butterfly wings, light and airy. The swirling patterns of lyrium that traversed his body were hypnotic and foreign to her eyes. Fenris with his gruff exterior and hateful attitude toward magic had dropped his guard to her and her to him. For one night, she had allowed herself to be vulnerable to relinquish herself to freedom and passion. She saw herself in Fenris. They were kindred souls both looking for something and they had found it in each other even if it had only been a glimpse. She couldn't lose him, not now when they had both been so close to finding that freedom. Her friends, they were all she had left. And this was their home, her home. She would defend it with her life.

Hawke shuddered at the memory of the Arishok's face the moment she hit him with her spell. It was a spell of invisible chains and force binding the Arishok in place. Her energy wound its way up his feet and entwined itself around his torso and arms freezing the Arishok in place. Not wasting a precious second she vaulted to her feet her spear staff leading the way. Her shoulder burned like nothing she had ever felt before, even as the blade of her staff pierced the Arishok's chest biting though skin and muscle slipping between two of his ribs skewering his heart.

A look of resignation passed across the Arishok's face before he stepped back off her blade. Her holding spell vanquishing with the last of her strength. The sucking sound as her blade unstuck itself made her winch as she collapsed onto her hands and knees again. Slick warm blood poured out of the wound. Her breath was ragged and sweat beaded in glistening dewdrops on her forehead. Her body shook with psychical and mental exhaustion. But she had done it. She had killed the Arishok and saved Kirkwall. Shortly afterward the city had heralded Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall.

Cringing, Hawke opened her vibrant blue eyes. The scar the Arishok had bestowed upon her ached on her shoulder, but it was a phantom pain. It didn't really bother her unless she thought about the moment she received it.

The second time she had depleted herself was just a little over a year ago when she had killed both the First Enchanter of the Kirkwall's Circle of Magi and Knight Commander Meredith. Orsino hadn't been terribly draining, but Meredith had. The artifact she wielded was dark, tainted with evil. It had polluted Meredith's mind and had whispered at Hawke's as they fought each other. Tempting her with paranoid thoughts and delusions of her greatest fears:

"You fight for a city that will throw you into the Circle the first chance they get." The artifact whispered across her mind as she and Meredith clashed together.

"Never. They would never do that." Hawke had growled.

"So you hear it too, Champion. The power that corrupts and pollutes this city. Along with the people's fears that spoil and fester in this city." Meredith spouted glaring at Hawke over their crossed weapons. "Magic is a purge that must be eliminated. A stain on the existence of this city on this world."

"You've lost it, Meredith." Hawke gritted out. Meredith was stronger from years of training and fighting. Hawke was quicker. Pushing away from Meredith, she jumped to the side lashed out with her spear point. Meredith sidestepped her attack countering with a slash of her own. Hawke grinned spinning around and throwing out an arm. Fire blasted from her palm. And into Meredith's side forcing the other woman to step back or be burned to a crisp. Hawke smiled grimly. Meredith was toying with her. She didn't appreciate it. She closed off her bout of fire and gripped her staff in both hands. Whipping up the butt of the weapon she pointed at Meredith. Lightening white hot burst out of the staff, the bolt struck the knight-commander full in the chest. Meredith's eyes widened in surprise, as her body jerked in response to the electrical current circulating throughout it. But Meredith was tough…hardened through years of training and hunting mages and she was now powered by the Deep Roads relic.

Drawing a shuddering breath she drew upon the magic of her sword. The lightening abruptly zapped out of her and into the sword. The weapon started to pulse with a bright eerie red light. Hawke stared suddenly frightened of the awesome power the sword could give the knight-commander.

Another shiver racked Hawke's lithe frame as she remembered that day…that horrible day that had made her Viscount of Kirkwall. Her, an apostate, running an entire city if she were back in Ferelden this never would have happened. Mages weren't allowed by Chantry law to hold political offices or inherent titles and land. That's just the way it was. But now she had changed all that. She was the first mage that she had ever heard of with the exception of the Tevinter Imperium to hold an office of standing or influence. And even after a year of helping the Templars to restore order to the Circle here in Kirkwall as well giving Aveline the lead way to restructure the city guard, she wasn't certain how she felt about the whole ordeal. Everything was different. Everyone knew she was a mage.

She was waiting for the inevitable. She wasn't sure how or why, or even who, but someday she knew that someone would try and topple her. Someone would ultimately try to throw her into the Circle.

"So, this is where you have run off too."

Hawke jumped turning slightly to glance at the speaker. Flaming red hair and shining silver armor, Aveline. Hawke turned away once again. "Just needed to think. Clear my head a bit." She stated pushing a strand of hair behind her head.

Aveline's boots crunched on the gritty sand and small stones as she came to stand next to Hawke.

"Hawke, you can't just run off and neglect your meetings for the day. You're the Viscount. Kirkwall depends on you to run things smoothly." Aveline quoted flatly. Hawke rolled her eyes. This was normal. She cared about the city and the people, she just didn't liked sitting through the meetings that went with running the city smoothly.

Hawke let out a breath. "Well, when I signed up for the job no one said anything about the meetings. Always the meetings. Can't we think of something else? Oh, I know how about we have a masquerade meeting everyone has to wear a costume. Now that's a meeting I would attend."

Aveline rubbed a hand across her brow in exasperation. "Hawke." She growled.

Hawke waved a hand. "Please, Aveline, I don't need the lecture. I know that I'm slacking, but the meetings are just boring and about things that don't really matter. That someone else could make a decision on besides me."

"Hawke, you're the Viscount, your job is to sit at those meetings and govern the city."

Hawke shook her head. A soft breeze picked that time to gentle tousle her dark hair into her eyes. "Look, I do more for this city by being out on patrol. Keeping the thugs and Coterie off the streets." She tucked the wild strands of hair behind her ears. "I'm all about action. All work no play makes, Hawke a grumpy maid."

Aveline chortled. "Hawke, we both know you're not a maid." A grin broke out over Aveline's stern features as she stared down at the waves pressing against the shore.

Hawke barked a short laugh. "True enough."

"Speaking of which, how is Fenris? I haven't seen him around lately." Aveline inquired resting her hand on the hilt of her sword.

Hawke shrugged. "Same ole, same ole." Hawke frowned. Fenris and she did spend most nights together, but during the day when she was in meetings and the like, Maker knew what the elf was up to. He had taken odd mercenary jobs to keep money in his pocket and sometimes he would help Aveline, Varric, or Isabella with a particular business that any of them needed handled under the table. But he never spoke of the time he spent away from her. She had offered him money and a place to stay besides his run down mansion, but she knew he would refuse. He wanted to enjoy his freedom now that he actually could. Hawke knew she was a part of that freedom, but for how long.

What if he wanted to leave and do something else, try something else, find another lover? The thought plagued the back of her mind constantly. Like an itch she couldn't get too. He had stated before that she was his future, but what if he decided that Isabella was more exciting? Or that Kirkwall wasn't really his home? Or that Hawke wasn't the family and life he was looking for? The problem was Hawke would never ask the questions because she feared the answer…she was afraid he would make promises he wouldn't be able to keep.

"Well that's good. I was beginning to worry." Aveline's voice was filled with a lilt of concern. Hawke tilted her head to peer up at the taller woman.

"Why? What have you heard Aveline?" Hawke raised an eyebrow at the red haired woman when she looked abruptly away from her. Hawke knew it as a sign that Aveline had bad news. "Spit it out." Hawke snapped not wanting to play the game. If something was wrong with Fenris she wanted to know.

"It's probably nothing, Hawke, but there are rumors buzzing around. Someone has been asking questions about your friends."

Hawke pushed herself to her feet. "You mean someone's inquiring about Fenris?"

Aveline shook her head. "They are just rumors, Hawke, but not just Fenris all of us that stood with you against Orsino and Meredith."

Hawke glared at Aveline for a moment then turned her attention back toward the sea. The air whispered to her and she closed her eyes. The memories of pain, loss, suffering, fear, blood and magic were still there. It was an old headache that refused to be soothed away, but the Viscount title was another headache all together. The pain of it started right behind her eyes then moved to the right temple and was slowly making its way down her neck and shoulders.

"I'll talk to Varric about it. Maybe he can dig something up." She whispered.

She could hear Aveline shift next to her. "I'm already on it. Varric is meeting us tonight at the Hanged Man an hour after sundown."

Hawke's eyes flew open. "Dammit, Aveline, you should be running this city, not me." She said lightly with the hint of a sarcastic smile tugging at her pink lips.

Aveline balked and her eyes went wide. "Oh no, Hawke, you got yourself into this mess, now you have to wallow in it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

As soon as Hawke entered her home, a large brown mass launched itself at her clipping her knees and knocking her to the floor.

"Shield!" Hawke snapped throwing up an arm to fend off the mabari's vicious slobber attack. "Ugh, come on, I have to go back out and I while I might be Ferelden it doesn't mean I like smelling like wet dog." The mabari continued with his relentless attack for another few seconds before he snuffed and back away to sit a few feet from her. He regarded her with his large brown intelligent eyes, fondly and curiously. Hawke wiped the drool from her face on the arm of her shirt and stood up.

Shield's short stubby tail thumped weakly on the floor. She smiled down at him. "If I didn't need to go out to the Hanged Man I would take you out on patrol with Aveline and me tonight." She knelt down in front of the hound. Taking both of her hands, she rubbed behind his ears. "But maybe I can talk Aveline into training some new recruits with you tomorrow."

Thump, thump, thump… Hawke's smile grew. At least she could please one person…being tonight. Sighing regretfully she stood up. She really should spend more time with Shield, but her thoughts were elsewhere at the moment. She had shirked her duties to go patrolling the Wounded Coast for the day.

She walked into the parlor and wasn't surprised at all to discover a large pile of messages left on the side table for her. Rolling her eyes she continued up the staircase toward her bedroom.

"Ah, mistress, I was wondering when you would return." Orana stated pushing open the side door to the kitchens. She had good ears and uncanny knack of knowing when Hawke returned to the estate. It could have been Shield's thumping tail and yip of excitement that alerted her to Hawke's return. She glanced down at the dog. Who had followed her into the parlor and was starting to make his way up the stairs with her.

The house was lit with a fire in all the fireplaces and a few candles were placed about as well, though the windows had all the curtains thrown open to let the sunlight stream through. It was well past noon and getting toward sunset. Hawke had been out all day on the Coast. She hadn't meant to be gone that long, but after Aveline had delivered the disturbing news about someone asking after her friends the guardswoman had stayed to help Hawke finish her patrol and they talked about when and where to meet up before going down to the Hanged Man to meet Varric. Hawke had simply wanted to meet Aveline at the Hanged Man, but the guard captain wouldn't hear of it. So she had promised to meet her at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the Viscount's Keep around sundown.

Hawke wanted to bathe before she went to the Hanged Man. She knew that she could walk into the establishment covered in any kind of filth and the barkeep wouldn't care. But she was hot, tired, sweaty and covered, thanks to Shield, in dog drool. She wanted to relax before embarking on another adventure.

"Orana, dear, would you draw me up a bath." Hawke asked smiling brightly.

Orana beamed back. "Of course, mistress. Oh, and I left your messages on a side table for you. You had quite a few people drop by today too."

"Oh, well, no surprise there. Most of them probably slammed the door on their way out too."

"As a matter of fact several did." Orana's large eyes widened slightly. "They were angry with you, mistress."

Hawke smiled trying to ease the girl's slip of fear. Orana was getting better at understanding that she need not fear anything from Hawke, but every once in a while the girl would slip and her old fear of her former master would creep up.

"It's alright, Orana, I deserve their anger at least this time." Hawke stated flippantly. "I'm going to grab a change of clothes and then I will be down to bathe." She started up the stairs again. Shield padded softly behind her. She didn't glance back at Orana, though she knew the girl was probably staring after her wondering what her new 'master' was all about. Orana had been with her for years now, but still the girl called her mistress. Sometimes it was endearing, but sometimes it was annoying.

A sigh escaped her lips as she entered her bedroom. Orana had taken over Bohdan and Sandal's positions once the two had left for Orlais six months back. Bohdan had been working with the girl for the past year before that helping to grow accustomed to the extra work. He even suggested that Hawke maybe hire someone else to help with the work. But Hawke was one person and she really didn't need much. She did a lot on her own or at least tried too. Though it was nice to come home to a prepared meal and bath with clothes laid out to dress in after said bath, but she could do all that herself if necessary.

Hawke didn't want to admit it, but having Orana around was more or less selfishness on her part. She really liked having the company. She missed her mother and siblings. While Fenris did come around and sometimes when she needed to get away she would sneak over to his place for a night, it wasn't the same as having family around. She felt alone most of the time. Orana filled that loneliness to a degree.

Hawke opened the door to her room, her thoughts completely occupied with to what degree of loneliness she was in that she would keep a serving girl around in order to sooth some of it away, that she completely missed Shield's warning growl. Hawke crossed her room and was just pulling open the top drawer of her dresser when a hand clamped over her mouth. She felt cold sharp metal pressed against her throat.

Shield growled again and then barked savagely with a snap of strong powerful jaws.

"Shit! She's got the hound with her." A gruff voiced man spat behind her. It was not the man holding the knife to her throat.

"Kill it." The voice was calm and collected, pleasant with a tinged of spice. Sexy, but deadly. It was the voice of the man holding her. Her eyes narrowed. The hand on her mouth tightened as did the blade at her throat. "Now then, Serrah Hawke. Would you be so kind as to come with me? Quietly if at all possible. If not well we can do this the hard way."

Shuffling and snapping jaw sounds came from behind her. She cursed the fact that her staff was strapped across her back pinned between her and her attacker. Hawke rolled her eyes. She had been doing that a lot lately. They were going to get permanently stuck inside her head.

Shield yelped. Hawke flinched straining her ears to hear if the fighting continued. When it did she relaxed slightly. Curling her hand into a fist, she waited. She wanted to see what these bastards wanted.

"Shit," the gruff man cursed again.

"Just kill it quickly." Her captor stated again. He started backing away toward the door nearly dragging Hawke with him. "Stop playing, Michele."

Michele. That was an Orlaisian name. But the accent on the man holding her was more Antivian. Hawke's brow furrowed. Either these two were extremely stupid or skilled at their jobs. They had managed to get into her house in broad daylight, which meant they had gotten past both Orana and Shield. But they were planning on walking out the door with her in broad daylight. Unless….

_Shit!_

Hawke's eyes sprang open wide. She knew how they had gotten in and how they were planning on getting out. The cellar entrance.

There were tunnels that led to Darktown down in the cellar. It was once a place where slavers used to transport 'cargo' to ships at the docks. They were also escape tunnels if one should ever need them. There weren't many people alive that knew about them. Family. That was it. Fenris and Orana knew, but they would never tell anyone. That just left…Gamlen.

Hawke cursed and squirmed in the smooth talker's grip. "Enough, lovely, or I'll have to do this the hard way. And I hate the hard way." Hawke's skin crawled as he breathed the words on her neck. And he pressed the knife a little deeper nicking her flesh. A drop of blood welled up and slipped silently down her neck. She stopped struggling and puffed out a determined breath.

_Might as well play along for now. Let's see what these bastards want before I boil their blood in their bodies._ .

Hawke smile was a ghost of a grin behind her kidnapper's hand. _Who knows this could be fun._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

Aveline stood in front of the steps leading up the Viscount's Keep. The sun had set. A full moon had crested in the east and was making its way into the sky. Aveline puffed out an annoyed breath. Hawke was late by at least half an hour. Aveline usually didn't mind her tardiness, but she had told Donnic she would not be home late tonight. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Hawke, where are you?" She mumbled. Crossing her arms over her chest and leaning back against a column. She was growing concerned. Hawke while she could be lazy and spontaneous within the same breath was very protective of her friends.

Aveline's eyes roamed the nearly empty courtyard. The moonlight played across the white stones casting dark stagnant shadows along the house fronts and verandas surrounding. Aveline watched as a tall, lean shadow detached itself from a nearby column and moved with a striding gate toward Hawke's manor. Her eyes narrowed as she recognized the smooth graceful gait.

"Fenris," Aveline called causing the elf to swing about abruptly with markings blazing white hot. Fenris' stance widened and she could have sworn he growled at her. Aveline stepped into a bright patch of moonlight raising her hands in a placating gesture. "It's me."

"Aveline?"

"Yes," She nodded and then lowered her hands as Fenris straightened and his marks stopped glowing.

"What are you doing out here?" Fenris asked crossing his arms.

"Waiting for Hawke. She was supposed to meet me here half an hour ago." Aveline looked Fenris up and down. It was the worst kept secret that Fenris and Hawke were together. Even Hawke's advisors and the acting Knight-Commander Cullen suspected the two were closer than friends. "I'm guessing you were on your way to see her."

Fenris exhaled and looked over his shoulder at Hawke's manor. "I was." He stated softly. Even in the low light Aveline could see his brow crinkle in worry. Fenris had been busy the past couple of days, she knew just from working with Hawke that the elf had been absent for also a week. What he was doing exactly Hawke hadn't said a word about or she didn't know. While Aveline had watched the two she knew they didn't share every waking moment together, Fenris was as close to Hawke as Hawke let anyone get at least emotionally.

Aveline sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I suppose we should go find her." Fenris started off without another word.

"What were you and Hawke meeting about?" He asked as she caught up to him.

"Someone has been asking questions about Hawke and her friends. We were going to the Hanged Man to meet with Varric." Aveline asked bowing her head in thought as her long strides carried her closer to Hawke's home.

Fenris didn't acknowledge her but his pace quickened. Aveline shook her head. "She probably forgot. You know how Hawke can be."

Aveline's gaze flickered over to Fenris. He was shaking his head his snowy white hair falling into his eyes. "I don't think so."

Her eyes narrowed at the elf's reply. "Do you know something?" She inquired her voice held a biting tone to it.

"I've just return to Kirkwall, Aveline. I was going to see Hawke for the first time in a week. She never forgets by accident, on purpose, yes, but accident…" He huffed and shook his head. "You don't know Hawke as well as you think you do. She's not brushing you off, something's wrong." He said with confidence.

"You don't think you're being a bit paranoid?"

Fenris shrugged. "Prehaps," Was all he said.

Aveline placed her hand on the pommel of her sword and continued walking beside Fenris the short distance to Hawke's front door. The doorstep was dark, the evening lamps were unlit. Fenris hesitated a moment on the front step. Aveline could see his shoulders tense. He didn't bother to reach for his sword.

"Fenris," Aveline warned. There could be several reasons why the outside lamps weren't lit, yet. Though the house was quiet, even to her something felt off.

Fenris flung open the front door. Aveline moved in behind peering around the foyer. Everything was dark. None of the evening lamps had been lit and the ever constant glow of the fireplace from the receiving room was dim. Aveline quickly, but quietly drew her sword. Something was definitely off. "Fenris, we should…" Blue flames shot up around her elf companion. Aveline inhaled sharply, blinking her eyes at the sudden appearance of bright light.

"Something's wrong." Fenris growled moving toward the receiving room. Aveline followed shaking her head.

"You don't know that." Aveline said unconvincingly. She was pretty certain her voice betrayed her. Fenris could be rash, especially when it came to Hawke. He was protective over her, though Hawke had stated many times she didn't need nor want the protection, he still was. "Fenris, we can't jump to conclusions."

"Where's Shield?" The elf asked looking around. The great mabari was nowhere to be seen. "Hawke never leaves without leaving Orana or Shield behind." Fenris said as he stood in front of the fireplace. Hot coals burned low in the pit, but no new wood had been added in a while.

Aveline gritted her teeth, not liking the situation any more than him. "We need to look around. Figure out what's going on."

A noise, like someone or something shuffling across stone came from the landing above them. Fenris pivoted toward the sound his body radiating even brighter than before. Aveline squinted trying to see in the darkness surrounding their aura of light. "There!" She hissed pointing her sword at the top of the stairs. Movement right at the top of the stairs!

A whine reached her ears. "Fenris, did you hear…?" Fenris moved without waiting for her to finish. _Really, is it too much to ask? _ Aveline thought. He could be subtle when he deemed it necessary, but when it came to Hawke…He took the stairs two at a time.

"Aveline!" Fenris called from the top of the stairs. "It's Shield."

Aveline trotted over to the stairs and climbed them. As she reached the top, she saw Fenris beside the large hound. A dark pool of blood glistened around Shield. Slash marks crisscrossed his flanks and neck. A dark smear mark streaked across the floor behind the mabari. "Is he dead?"

Fenris shook his head. "No," Aveline knelt beside Fenris. Her eyes roamed over Shield's body. The hound's breathing was labored and shallow. His eyes were closed and a soft whine escaped him.

"Ah, boy," Aveline whispered as she sat next to him. She placed her sword on the ground next to her and pulled the hound's massive head unto her lap. She stroked the top of Shield's head. "Easy, boy,"

"I'm going to look around." Fenris stated flatly. "Can you do anything for him?" He asked standing up. His gaze flickered around, worried and anxious.

"I'll see what I can do, you go find Hawke." Fenris nodded and moved around Shield's prone form. His face impassive as he moved into the back hallway away out of sight, his glowing frame disappearing into the dark hallway leading to Hawke's bedroom.

Darkness covered Aveline and Shield a faint light poured in from the windows and the moon's brilliant light outside. It was just enough for her eyes once they adjusted to see by. The hound huffed in pain as she placed his head back on the ground. "Hold on, boy." She said stoking his head once more time. "I'll get you fixed up right away." She stood picking up her sword sheathing it with resounding clank. She headed back down the stairs to see what she could find to help the mabari.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: **

Fenris moved forward on soft feet. Though a large part of him wanted to move more quickly, he was afraid of what he would find. If Shield was as injured as he was then Hawke…he shook his head and continued forward. His markings were glowing fused with the anxiety, fear and anger he was feeling.

"Hawke," Fenris growled coming up to her open bedroom door. Shield's blood was a dark line leading out of the room and onto the landing where the hound had collapsed. He hoped that Aveline could do something for Shield. The hound was a welcome sight in Hawke's home. Fenris felt relieved at knowing that Shield was always around for her. The hound was the last of Hawke's family. Her last remnant of her life before Kirkwall.

Placing a hand on the slightly ajar door, he pushed it open the rest of the way. The scene revealed to him in the glow of his markings gave him pause. Everything was out of place. Furniture was flipped over; clothing was tossed about, the curtains from the bed and window were ripped. Blood smeared the floors and walls. The full length mirror that Hawke kept in the corner of her room was shattered. Silvery pieces of the mirror shimmered eerily in blue light he created. His light refracted off the broken pieces casting blue speckles of light on the walls and ceiling of the room.

As his eyes scanned the room, they came to rest on a crumpled form with dark hair lain on the floor in a pool of blood. Fenris' heart raced as he ran forward.

_Please, don't let it be her._ He prayed as he crouched next to the form and turned it over.

His breath caught as an unfamiliar face stared up at him with dead eyes. The man's throat had been ripped out. Fenris sat back on his hunches. Relief momentarily swept through him. _Hawke, where are you?_

Standing he paced the room. His fear for Hawke's safety and whereabouts clouded his thoughts.

"Fenris!" Aveline shout came from somewhere downstairs. Fenris spun and jogged out of the room. Coming up to the landing's railing he peered over the side. Aveline had managed to get a fire going in the fireplace and had managed to move Shield down the stairs in front of it. He could feel the tingling of the lyrium under his skin as he stared down at the scene of Aveline applying bandages to the hound's wounds. Shield didn't move.

"What is it, Aveline?" He snapped. His voice dangerously low. "Have you found any sign of Hawke?"

Aveline's hair was like a whirlwind of fire as she shook her head. "No, did you?"

"There's a dead man in her room. His throat's been ripped out." His hands clutched the banister. "Where is she?" His voice resonated gravelly and threatening.

Aveline shook her head. "Orana's in the kitchen. She's boiling water. She has a nasty bump on her head. But she doesn't remember anything. "

"Orana?"

"Yes, I went into the kitchen to see if I could find anything to help Shield and she was in there curled up in a ball in the corner of the room crying. After I calmed her down I managed to coax her into helping me move Shield and start a fire. She found bandages to boot." Aveline sighed and tore the strip of bandage she was working with tying it off. "But, she just remembers hearing a noise behind her and then a sharp pain in her head. She said she woke up in the dark and heard voices." Aveline looked up at Fenris with pity written in her eyes. "The girl must have heard us come in and thought that we were the ones responsible for hurting her."

Fenris ducked his head, hiding his face. Orana was alive and so was Shield, and Hawke was missing. His hands started to ache looking down he saw that his fingers clasped the railing so tightly they had turned white.

"Uh, Fenris, could you possibly turn off the glowing thing." Aveline asked calmly. "I don't want you to frighten Orana anymore. The girl's had enough excitement for one day."

Fenris released the banister and stared down at himself. He was still glowing. He remembered activating the magic coursing under his skin, but he had thought he had…no, he hadn't. His emotions were running too high. Closing his eyes he cleared his mind and concentrated on the humming that was constantly present under his flesh. A soft whispery song, that made his skin tingle and crawl with pain and pleasure at the same time. A strange sensation, one that made him feel alive and powerful one moment and tainted and filthy the next. Emotions were the key. Much like most music tried to project emotion into words and notes, the lyrium in him responded best to his emotions. Anger and fear were two of his most successful triggers. The song grew louder and in tune with his pulse as those two emotions coursed through his veins until he released them into the lyrium. At first it had been difficult to master turning his emotions on and off. He had learned to control himself from sudden outburst of rage or panic, but now it was easy. Like lighting a candle or snuffing it out. He pushed what he was feeling aside pulling the wave of fear and anger away from the lyrium. That was the painful part. Ripping himself from a pleasant experience to a dull quiet place was painfully both physically and mentally. He was good at masking the pain.

This time as he calmed himself and shut off his markings a shiver of pain echoed throughout his entire being. He shuddered and took a step back. Opening his eyes he stared down at his now non-glowing arm and frowned. It was getting harder and harder to pull himself away. He hadn't let Hawke know. He didn't want to worry her. He knew she would want to know, but he refused to be a burden to her. She had enough to worry about besides him.

Fenris headed down the stairs and stood near Aveline watching her continue to bandage Shield. An itch was growing between his shoulder blades.

"We need to find Hawke." He stated calmly. He crossed his arms and stared down at the woman.

"I know, but until we can look at things more closely, I don't know have any idea where she could be. Here," She held up a hand with a bandage rolled up in it. "You finish up with Shield and I'll go take a look at that dead man in Hawke's room." She pushed herself to her feet as Fenris gingerly took the rolled up bandage from her.

"What good will looking at him do?" He snapped gripping the bandage in his hand. "Hawke's not here, the dead man…"

He bit off his response as the song of the lyrium flared loudly in his ears. _No, not right now._ He cursed pushing the anger away.

"Did you bother to check the man, for an insignia or note or anything?" Aveline inquired hotly. Fenris blinked at her and then narrowed his eyes. "I didn't think so. Stay here with Shield. Orana will be here in a moment to help you. I'll see what I can turn up." With that she walked away.

Fenris didn't bother to watch her. He looked down at his feet where Hawke's beloved hound laid blood caked on his brown coat. He wasn't good at this sort of thing. It was more Hawke's department. While she was a mean fighter, she was also gentile when it came to the healing arts.

It bothered him that he could do nothing but wait, while Hawke was gone. Someone had taken her, and when he found that person he was going to rip their still beating heart from their chest and crush it in front of their dying eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

Hawke came awake with a start. She blinked her eyes and took a quick survey of her surroundings. Daylight filtered in lazily through the bars above her head. The cell she was being held stank to the Black City and beyond. The walls were stone, seeped in water rivulets. The floor was made up of the same stone as the walls. She had a dingy little bucket for her basic bathroom needs and a creaky old cot that smelled of mildew. The wool blanket she had wrapped herself in was moth eat and wore thread bare.

She shivered in the damp morning air. She still had no idea where she was. Tossing the blanket from her she stood up and stretched. After being hauled into the basement and the secret tunnels below her home she had been blindfolded, her hands tied behind her back and relieved of her staff and all other weapons. The man with the Antivian accent had patted her down gently, but not kindly either.

"This must be the only way you meet women, or at least get them to come home with you." Hawke quipped as his hand slipped down the front of her tunic to the small knife she had tucked into her breast band.

"My, my, aren't we full of surprises and mouth." He whispered in her ear. "Unfortunately, you aren't my type." He retracted his hand with her knife clutched in his fist.

"So, what I'm not pretty enough, or you have something against mages?" She pouted trying to keep her anger and fear over Shield at bay.

"No, pretty thing, I just don't like women. You talk way too much. I prefer the strong silent type. Much like your elf." He pushed her forward making her stumble along weaponless, blindfolded and hands bound behind her back. Hawke frowned. How did he know about Fenris? How long had he been watching her to know?

More than once she had tripped accidently and few times on purpose just to see what he would do. Each time she was yanked up to her feet unceremoniously and pushed forward again.

After a while he spoke up again. "You think your elf will come for you?"

Hawke shrugged as much as her bonds would let her. "Don't know. Haven't seen him in over a week."

"Really? Lovers quarrel, perhaps?" Her kidnapper sounded amused.

Hawke shook her head. "You know for someone who likes the silent type, you sure do talk a lot."

The man chuckled and pushed her shoulder roughly. "I'm bored." He replied.

"Aren't you worried about your friend? Shield is going to rip him to shreds." Hawke quipped darkly.

The man was silence a moment then replied. "Don't rightfully care. Michele's good, but cocky. It will serve him right to get killed by a dog."

Hawke shrugged. "His funeral then."

"Yeah, I suppose it would be."

"You didn't care for him much, I take it?" Hawke asked

"No, I didn't. Too green."

"Huh." Hawke snorted as she continued to stumble along. "So where we going?"

"You'll see." he responded gripping her upper arm to keep her steadier, though his grip was firm, his fingers had left bruises.

That had been several hours ago, now she looked up through the bars over her head and squinted trying desperately to see anything over head. The light was too bright and she had to look away. Nothing.

_Dammit._ She still wasn't too worried, yet. She had been thrown into this cell with only her kidnapper around. And he hadn't returned since. So, she was betting he was retrieving the actual person who had paid the Antivian to take her in the first place. And truth told she wasn't completely defenseless. She still had her magic. Though easier to channel with her staff, she could wield it without it too.

She smirked. _Idiots, think that I'm some damsel in distress. Well, we'll just see about that._

"Well, good morning, pretty thing." Her kidnapper's voice sounded from above her head.

Hawke glanced up and saw a man's silhouette leaning over the bars of her prison roof. "Did you sleep well, pretty?"

Hawke snorted and crossed her arms. "It's not the Blooming Rose." She crinkled her nose. "It's the smell I think."

The man chuckled and she heard the jiggling of keys. Suddenly the bars were gone and just light filtered through the square opening. A rope ladder descended into her dank cell. Hawke eyed the ladder dubiously.

"Climb up, and we'll see about breakfast."

Hawke rolled her eyes. Though she was hungry, she didn't relish the idea of being blindfolded again or bound for that matter. "Nope, I'm good. Though if it's not too much of a problem could you send the serving wench in with a tankard of ale and some beef stew that would be great, thanks."

"Get your ass up here." Another gruff male voice growled. "The bosses want to speak with you."

"Oh yes, sir, you big ferocious beast you. Let me just grab my things." Hawke remarked sitting down on her little cot cross legged. She wrapped the moth eaten blanket tightly around her shoulders and tried to get comfortable.

"You little bitch!" The newcomer snarled as heavy foot falls sounded above her head.

_Huh? I wonder how thick the stone above my head is. _Her eyes followed the sounds for a second as she called up in her sweetest voice.

"You're such a charmer. I bet all the girls just go crazy for you." She smirked as a she heard what sounded like scuffle taking place.

"I'll going to kill her. Doesn't matter what the boss says!? She's a knife-ear loving whore!" Hawke flinched and a small spark of anger radiated at the insult.

_Ignorant fool. Probably can't even figure out what do with a woman without being told. _She thought heatedly. She gritted her teeth. She didn't mind when people threw slander her way, she could take it. What she didn't like was someone insulting someone she cared for. Especially just because he was a different race it didn't matter to her…secretly she thought it was really amazing, but she knew not everyone would see it that way.

"Back off, Thorn, she trying to gloat you into doing something stupid." That would be her kidnapper speaking again. "Just let me handle this."

"Don't talk to me like I'm an idiot. I know what she did at the Circle of Magi! All those people she killed! And the people in the Chantry! My brother and his wife were there praying! Don't tell me to cool it! She deserves what she gets!" Hawke closed her eyes and sighed.

_So, that's what this was about. Some revenge for the whole rebellion. _ She hadn't blown up the Chantry, that was most definitely not her, but then why did she feel like she was the one who had?

_Because I did nothing to stop it. Innocent people died, I helped Anders gather those ingredients without even bothering to ask what exactly he needed them for. I should have followed through…I should have…_ Every time it was the same argument, the same story she sold herself. It hadn't been her fault, yet her chest was heavy with guilt and regret. She hadn't been able to kill Anders in the end. Instead she had made him fight with her. After the fighting he had vanished…

She slipped off the cot the blanket falling from her shoulders. "I'll coming up." She shouted as she grabbed hold of the rope ladder and began to haul herself up. _Might as well get this over with._ She knew one day she would have to face the consequences of her actions…and it seemed today might just be that day.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"That's not good enough!" Fenris growled as he continued to pace back and forth in front of Varric's fireplace. The heat from the flames was nearly unbearable as was the stench wafting up from the downstairs common room. Sweat beats glistened on his forehead and he reached up a hand to wipe the perspiration away from his eyes.

"Look, elf, I've gathered all the information I can. Every source I can think of and this is all I got. I know it doesn't seem like much, but it's better than what we had several hours ago." Varric said taking a sip of his ale. "Truth of the matter the Silver Skulls are low level mercenary band that's been in Kirkwall for years. They just don't have the reputation that the Red Irons had back in the day, but even they aren't stupid enough to go after Hawke alone. No, someone with a lot of money and a possible death wish paid them to do this. The big question is who?"

The Silver Skulls were apparently the mercenary band that had kidnapped Hawke, or at least according to Aveline who had found a strange tattoo on the dead men's wrist in Hawke bedroom. Silence filtered into the room. No one wanted to say anything. Every one of Hawke's companions knew she had made a lot of enemies and her mouth got her into more trouble than her actions most of the time.

"Well, didn't that good looking priestly fellow say that he would be back for Hawke, or something like that. You know for not killing Anders." Isabella voiced after several minutes. "He didn't seem the type for random threats and wasn't he a prince too? Couldn't he have the money?"

Fenris stopped abruptly and spun around. "Sebastian. That's his name and no, he wouldn't go after Hawke." He stated firmly crossing his arms. He let his eyes roam of over the group. Varric's expression was pleasant mock surprise, while Merrill, Aveline and Isabella seemed genuinely puzzled.

"And how in the name of Maker are you so certain of that?" Aveline asked with a frown. She didn't like being shocked. "He did swear to bring an army to bear on Kirkwall once he retook Starkhaven." Fenris waved a dismissive hand.

"It's not Sebastian. His campaign to retake his throne has been long and bloody. While he doesn't cherish Hawke, he has bigger problems." Fenris looked away from everyone's stares. He didn't like this attention it annoyed him. They needed to be focusing on finding Hawke.

"Where are the Silver Skulls stationed out of?" He asked directing attention back to the task of just that.

"Darktown. They're a Darktown band." Aveline answered leaning back in her chair she crossed her arms and stared at the mug of ale in front of her.

"Great, just great. Just what I love an old fashion romp through Darktown." Isabella quipped raising her mug to her lips and taking a long gulp. "Couldn't she get abducted by a rich, high class mercenary group?"

"What you finally have standards? And here I thought any group of men would do." Aveline huffed throwing a wink Isabella's way.

Isabella's peal of laughter grated on Fenris' skin. He turned away from the group. The flames of the fire licked at a log consuming the outer most layers to an orange and red bit of nothing. Hawke. Her touch could ignite his skin until it felt like it was on fire…she was more to him than he cared to admit to himself or to her…especially to her. Hawke was the one true spark of hope he had for a normal chance at life. And someone had taken her…had almost killed Shield. The hound was recovering, slowly, but he was healing according to Orana and Merrill. Fenris hadn't liked the idea of the little blood mage being anywhere near Shield, but Aveline had pointed out that she might know something useful about healing the hound. So the guard captain had sent for her.

Fenris clenched his jaw. Fury shot through him. Hawke wasn't helpless there had been no signs of her using her magic…which meant two things in his mind. First, of all she was surprised and knocked unconscious before she could cast any spells or second she went willingly. If the second one was the case then the people who had taken her had said something to peak her interest in making her want to go with them. Fenris was betting on the second scenario. He knew Hawke too well. She wasn't easy to take by surprise and Shield would have alerted her to someone being in the house. Which meant…?

"Hey, elf, you want to dim the light show. It's starting to make us uncomfortable." Varric's voice cut through his thoughts.

Fenris blinked and looked down at his body. He was glowing. His eyes widened. He hadn't triggered…what was going on? The song hummed through his veins now that he was paying attention he could hear loud and clear. It vibrated under his skin following the flow on his markings. He frowned and closed his eyes concentrating on controlling the sound, making it stop. His worry for Hawke and his fury at her abduction had set off his markings, but still his control couldn't have slipped? He hadn't called on the magic. It had done it of its own accord. That frightened him almost as much as losing Hawke did.

"We should split up and look for Hawke in teams." Aveline suggested after a few seconds. The others quickly agreed.

"I'll keep with the guards and break them off into sections throughout Kirkwall. Then Donnic and I will take High Town and Low Town." Aveline continued. Fenris turned around to face the entirety of the group assembled. Their eyes were focused on Aveline. "Merrill, you and Isabella will scope out the Docks. Isabella, use your contacts down there to see about any ships that might have left within the past couple hours."

"No problem." Isabella purred taking another gulp of ale. "If she's on the Docks we'll find her."

Aveline nodded and looked at Fenris. He was frowning. "I know this is hard, but you need to stay focused. We'll find her." Fenris blinked and narrowed his eyes when he realized Aveline was trying to console him.

"I don't need your pity." He snarled and started toward the door.

"Fenris!" Aveline hissed. "I'm trying to help."

"Then by all means do whatever you must. I'm going to look for Hawke, but I'll do so alone." Fenris said. He could move faster by himself and if he found Hawke and her kidnappers, he didn't want anyone around to see the slaughter he was planning on leaving behind. The thought of mercy never crossed his mind. He wasn't the merciful type.

"Wait up, elf." Varric called after him as he headed down the stairs to the common room.

"I said I'm going alone." He snapped.

"Oh, I know what you said, but since I have a feeling you're heading towards Dark Town, I thought we might travel a little of the ways together. You know since it's my contacts in Dark Town that gave me the information about the Silver Skulls." Varric responded shouldering Bianca. "Of course if you want to continue fumbling around in the dark, by the seat of your tight ass britches then be my guest."

Fenris hesitated and then shrugged. "Fine, but don't get in my way, dwarf."

"Wouldn't dream of it."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

Hawke was pushed unceremoniously to the ground. The dirt floor swam up to meet her face and shoulders. Her cheek scraped along the gritty dirt. It stung and she tried not to flinch. Her hands had been bound behind her back the moment she had hauled herself up out of her ditty little cell. She hadn't been blind folded, but she had no clue in which section of Dark Town or Kirkwall for that matter she was. What she had to do daylight coming through her overhead bars, were actually torches. Torches that lined the walls of a long narrow corridor intermitting spaced with archways whose floors had barred doors. Crinkling her nose against the same damp earth and mold smell. She and her captors walked along the corridor. The same stones made up the entire walkway, walls and ceiling over and under her, but now she found herself face down in hard compacted dirt.

Groaning, she scooted her knees up under herself and pushed herself upright. Her cheek hurt and her shoulder with the sprained effort of trying to pull her bound hands apart to catch herself.

"So nice of you to join us, Viscount." A cool feminine voice resonated around the room. Hawke's eyes flickered upward. Standing in the center of a large rounded room with several doorways leading off in different directions, was a woman dressed in a beautiful red velvet gown with gold trim. Small rubies glittered darkly in her ears and at her throat. Her black hair was piled neatly on her top of her head. She was pretty even under the makeup she wore. Hawke placed her around her own age. She had two burly men on flanking her. Both wore helms that hide their faces from Hawke. "Andre, Thorn, be dears and help her ladyship to her feet."

Two strong hands gripped her upper arms and pulled her to her feet. Hawke nodded at each of them. "Such gentlemen." She mumbled to them. Both men were unremarkable and rugged. Both had beards and dirt streaking their faces. Though the one she speculated to be Andre had kind dark brown eyes that regard her with a twinge of pity. Whereas Thorn with his black hair and eyes held nothing but fury and hate in his, he even spat on the ground on her feet.

"Filthy mage." He growled before releasing her.

Hawke sighed and turned her attention back to the woman. "Are you the person I should be thanking for the amazing hospitality?"

The woman regarded her coolly before nodding. "I'm certain that Andre and Thorn have treated you with the up most of care."

"Oh, yes, my compliments to the hostess. And I love the decor of this place. You must tell me you're…"

"Enough!" The cool composure was gone and fury glowed around the woman. "I'm not here to play games with you, _Viscount_."

Hawke blinked and rolled her eyes. "Well, I figured that out when you broke into my house, had me abducted and probably killed my mabari. So, start talking before I burn this place to the ground."

The woman started laughing "If you think you can you are certainly willing to try."

Hawke huffed out a breath. _Really, lady, you really want me to try?_ "Look just what do you want?"

She stopped laughing and looked Hawke square in the eye. "I want you gone. But I'm willing to be reasonable. So here is my proposition." She smiled like the cat getting ready to swallow the canary. Hawke twisted her fingers around to where they touched the rope binding her wrist. She concentrated on her magic. Calling a bit into the touches of just her fingers, the spell was tricky and she could easily lose control of it, but as along she kept the woman talking she might be able to burn enough of the rope away to untie her hands.

"Sounds interesting." Hawke replied without thinking after a pause in the woman's speech. She really hadn't paying attention for the past few minutes. All her thoughts were on keeping her fingers pressed against the rope. She had caught little bits of leave and your friends will be spared, stay and we will make your life and theirs a living Void…or something. Hawke really couldn't be certain, nor in truth did she care. She had already made up her mind the moment Andre had captured her from her home. She wanted to meet the person bold enough to come after the Viscount and Champion of Kirkwall. And she had…she wasn't impressed.

Frowning, she twisted her wrist again and tested her bonds. The rope gave enough she could slip her hands out if she wished too. Glancing around she took stock of how many guards were present. Her two, the woman's two, and she was certain about four or six more just off in the wings of this room.

_Probably ready to pounce on me the moment I seem to get rowdy._ A smile tugged at the corner of her lips. 

"Well…that's just great really great I can see you put a lot of thought into this whole scenario, but you just forgot one thing." Hawke interrupted snidely.

The woman looked furious as she crossed her arms and glared daggers at Hawke. "Oh, and what's that?" She asked.

"I don't take well to threats again me or my friends…especially my friends." With that she summoned a vast amount of energy to herself and released it a huge burst of force. Andre and Thorn were thrown back against the wall with a loud crack.

Hawke ripped her hands apart, the rope falling loosely behind her. She summoned around surge of power to her.

"Stop her!" The woman shrieked and pointed a finger at Hawke. Her two guards rushed forward swords poised and ready to run her through. Hawke sidestepped the first blow and blasted the man in the face with a bolt of lightning. The energy of the bolt coursed through the man causing him to convulse like a puppet dancing morbidly on strings. Spinning around she heard sounds coming from the doorway directly on her right. Gritting her teeth she raised her hands and yanked her arms down slamming her two new attackers into the hard compacted dirt. The men groaned and she kicked the nearest one in the side. Her foot landed a solid blow in a spot not protected by his armor.

Hawke pivoted and saw more guards pouring in from the right door way. The woman in red had stepped back and watched the fight from a doorway on her left. Though she looked as if she was ready to run off the second the battle started go against her favor. Hawke couldn't let her get away. If she was the ringleader then she would be back with a vengeance. The whispers of magic tingled under her skin. The sweet song of the Fade echoed in her mind. She could do it. It would be so easy to give in.

The first of the guards reached her. She jumped back from his wild swing and raised her arms. She could. It would be so easy to give in. To be the monster everyone thought she already was…but, no.

_Go Away! _She screamed at the tantalizing voices in her head. _I'm not going to give in to you not now! Not EVER!_

She called to the rest of her energy. She would die before ever allowing a demon to take control of her. She had a great amount of mana left. Summoning it all to hands and arms she paused and lifted her arms above her head.

A guard swiped his sword at her middle, the blade connected and she grunted stepping back just in time to not be cut in half. But the magic was already working.

"By the Maker!" Someone shouted. She grinned even as pain white hot shot through her body. The next few guards paused to watch her. A hot wind picked up and swirled around the room engulfing everything and everyone, including her. Fire spouted on the ceiling crawling its way quickly along the stones of the roof and the walls. The room became an inferno.

Screams reached her ears, but she ignored them concentrating instead on keeping the blaze going. Lightning arched from the fire cascading down to strike anything moving. Brilliant arcs of white, red, and orange grabbed anything and devoured it. Hawke stood still amid it all. Her black hair fanned out behind her like a dark halo, her bright blue eyes were alive with power seemed to glow with a light of their own and not caused by the fire. Even as her body started to shake with exhaustion, depletion and pain she kept up her barge of fire and lightning until everything moving within the room was not. Then she fell to hands and knees. Her chest heaved with the effort of trying to catch her breath. The fire disappeared as quickly as she had called it to life. Her hair fell around her face. Sweat beads dripped onto the floor from her face. Her arms shook.

_I over did it._ She thought, her vision dimmed, raising a hand she gingerly touched her side. Raising the hand up she saw it was covered in blood. Darkness closed in around her. She felt herself slip to the ground and into unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8:

Hawke opened her eyes and stared up at the canopy of her bed. _How did I get here?_ She started to push herself.

"Oh, you're awake…wait, wait, don't move. You'll reopen your wound." Merrill twilled coming over to push her back into the bed.

"Merrill, how did I get here?" she asked watching the bird like elf flutter about. She seemed to be gathering bottles. The bottles clinked together as she held them against her chest.

"Oh, uhh, Fenris and Varric, shoot!" She cursed as she dropped one of the bottles. The bottle crashed to the floor in a sparkling array of broken glass.

"What? Wait, Merrill…"

"I told Fenris, that once you were awake I would let him know. I'll go get Orana." She said walking out the open door. Hawke started after her, dodging bits of broken glass. Her side throbbed painfully, but she ignored it as she trotted out the door and into hallway.

She caught up to the elf on the landing. Grabbing her shoulder she turned her around.

"Merrill, wait."

"Hawke you shouldn't be up moving around you'll…"

"I don't care about my side. What happened? How did I get back here?" She looked directly at Merrill. The elf met her eyes and she sighed.

"Look, all I know is that Varric and Fenris found you in an abandoned slaver's hold below Dark Town. They said it was bad. At least twenty people dead. You were hurt, but nothing serious." Merrill lowered her voice. "Varric said that one of the people dead was some noble's daughter. The girl's father is raising a big fuss about it at the Viscount's Keep."

Hawke opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She closed it and frowned. _So the woman was a noble of Kirkwall. Maybe I should have paid better attention to what she was saying._ Anger boiled under her skin. No, if the woman had a problem with her she should have come through the normal channels not break into someone's house and kidnap them. And threating her friends, that was beyond stupid. "I defended myself, that's all. They tried to take me hostage; they attacked me in my home! Shield!" Hawke spun around and flinched as her wound stung from the quick movement.

A low bark sounded from down stairs in the foyer. Hawke pushed pass Merrill and moved quickly down the stairs. Tears filled her eyes as she saw the large mabari standing in front of the fireplace. His stumpy tail wagged happily behind him. Hawke knelt in front of the hound and threw her arms around his neck. "Oh, good boy." She had never been so happy to see her fierce guardian. As she hugged him she noticed that his torso and right back leg were bandaged. "Poor boy, did you get the mean nasty man that did this."

Shield barked loudly and started licking her face. She laughed scratching the war hound behind his ears. "That's my boy."

"Oh mistress, you're awake." Orana stated from the kitchen entrance way. "I was starting to get worried."

Hawke stood and wiped dog sober from her face with the sleeve of her nightgown. She smiled at the girl. "I'm fine, Orana, really."

"Oh, I'm relieved, mistress. Would you like something to eat?" She asked quickly gesturing back toward the kitchen. "I have some stew bubbling."

Hawke's stomach growled before she could say anything. "Certainly, bring it to me in the lounge."

"Very well, mistress." Orana bowed slightly then headed back into the kitchen.

Hawke closed her eyes and let out a breath. Her side throbbed. The ache radiated throughout her body. Merrill was right she shouldn't be up moving around right at the moment.

"You really shouldn't be up moving around, Hawke. You need to rest." Merrill chirped from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm fine." She said again and moved toward the lounge's door. Merrill glared at her looking more like a mother bird guarding her nest from an annoying squirrel.

"You're not fine. You're injured and you drained yourself in whatever fight you were in. I've only seen you do that twice. Once with the Arishok and again with Meredith. What happened, Hawke?" Merrill inquired none too gently.

Hawke shook her head. "I got angry." She met Merrill's eyes. The elf looked nervously at her. "Oh, Maker, you think…you think I used blood magic? Or have been turned into an abomination? Please, Merrill, I'm the one that talked you out of using blood magic. AND speaking to demons…I think you need a little more faith in me."

"I don't think you would…but both Varric and Fenris looked shaken when they brought you in. I was worried." Merrill looked down at her feet. She still clutched her potions bottle tightly. Hawke sighed again.

"Look, just go tell Fenris and Varric…I'm fine. They'll be relieved to hear it." She turned away and walked through the lounge door. She didn't feel like tackling stairs at the moment or she would have gone back to bed. Instead she stretched out on the sofa in the lounge that was conveniently enough placed in front of a huge walk-in fireplace. The flames of the fire crackled and popped in response to her plopping herself down on the sofa. The soft whoosh of air she created from sitting fanned the flames a bit. Hawke frowned at the fire.

Fenris must have got back the same night she had been taken. He must have been pretty worried about her. _But then why isn't he here?_ She looked down at her hands. _Maybe, I've frightened him. I did overdo it with that fire-lightning storm, but those jerks had pissed me off. I'm not a demon or anything!_ She told herself. The whispers in the back of her mind as she had summon up her magic and that storm though had been troubling, but nothing new. She knew her limits. And she had reached them.

A short while later Orana had brought her a bowl of hot stew, small loaf of bread and a fist size hunk of cheese with a cold mug of ale. Hawke's stomach growled relentlessly as she smelled the food. Orana smiled watching her mistress gobble down her dinner before slipping quietly out of the lounge. Shield even limped into the room to sit at Hawke's feet. She let the hound lick her bowl clean and offered him a piece of bread which he wolfed down as well.

With a full stomach and finishing off the last of her cold drink she placed the mug on the side table before stretching out on the sofa to ponder the events of the past how many hours it had been. She must have fallen asleep because she awoke to someone lightly brushing her hair off of her face. Her eyes snapped open and she found herself staring into beautiful mossy green ones.

"Fenris," She whispered. Her heart stopped beating for a moment. It always seemed to do that around him. She never could figure it out. They could be so causal and distance with each other in one breath and in the next her heart did little flip-flops whenever he would lightly touch her or they would share a smile. "You're here." She said pushing herself up into a sitting position. She cringed as her wound smarted and she placed a hand to it in hopes of keeping it together.

"You haven't healed yourself?" He asked sitting down next to her. Their fingers brushed together. She glanced down and noticed his gauntlets were laid on the floor by his feet. Hawke shook her head.

"I haven't thought about it, and well, I don't know if I can do much more than what Merrill has already done. Her potions work wonders." She said.

Fenris nodded and looked at the fire still roaring in the fireplace. "What happened, Hawke?" He asked his voice low and dangerous. "Varric and I arrived to the smell of charred flesh and bodies everywhere in that room. You were bleeding and…" He whipped his head around turning her body gently to bring his face scant inches from hers. "I thought you were dead." He breathed. "There was so much blood." His hand came up and cupped her cheek.

Hawke leaned into his touch and closed her eyes. "I didn't mean to worry you. I really didn't. It's just…" She opened her eyes and met his. She needed to be honest with him. "I don't like being Viscount, Fenris. I hate it. I feel trapped." She bit her bottom lip and turned her head away from his hand. She proceeded to tell him everything. Her reasons for going out to the Wounded Coast to do patrols and why she hadn't fought back when Andre had taken her captive. She was bored. She wanted some adventure, just a little. She knew it was selfish and that she had to worry about the entire city of Kirkwall. She knew she had to be careful because the Chantry was just waiting for her to slip up so they could throw her into the Circle. And use her as an example as to why mages didn't make good leaders. But she really didn't care; because all she wanted was…a normal life…it was all she had ever wanted. Ever since she was a little girl…she had wanted to be normal. She had wanted to be like her brother and mother, normal and happy.

Tears slipped silently onto her cheeks as she finished telling him. Once the dam had been broke there was no going back. Hawke's sarcastic humorous armor was shattered in pieces around her. She was left bare before him. _If he wants to go, I'll understand. I'm a mage. Mages have done nothing, but destroy his life at every turn. I'm just one more that could do that to him._ Her heart thumped painfully, with the realization, but it was the truth.

Fenris sat unmoving for a few minutes just watching her. When she had apparently finished he stood up never taking his eyes off her. He offered her his hand. Hawke blinked staring at his hand in confusion.

"Hawke, you need to rest." He said calmly as if she hadn't just poured her heart out to him. Her eyes narrowed at his cool attitude about her breaking down. She took his hand, squeezing it a little more than was necessary. He raised an eyebrow at her as he pulled her to him. His free arm caught her gently and smoothly around her waist just missing her wound. He pressed her against him. Hawke's eyes widened in surprise, as he lowered his face to her neck and kissed her throat. "I was worried about you. Don't do that again. Ever." He whispered his breath tickled her skin.

"Fenris, you should…" He kissed her throat again causing her momentarily to forget what she wanted to say.

"I've been away from you for too long." He growled placing another kiss. "I return to find you have been taken. I can't say that I'm sorry that you killed them all." He lifted his face and met her eyes. Something flashed in their depths…something dangerous and feral. Hawke was surprised. Fenris usually controlled his feelings pretty well. She knew his control had something to do with his markings, but even then…this was something new.

"Fenris, are you…" He released her hand and swopped low sweeping her off her feet. He cradled her in his arms. She giggled at the unexpectedness of it. She looked up at him with a smile planted on her lips. He smiled down affectionately at her. He lowered his forehead to hers and closed his eyes.

"I can't lose you, Hawke." He whispered. He pulled her closer to him, hugging her against his chest. Hawke closed her eyes as well enjoying the closeness of him. Enjoying the tenderness he would let out in rare moments like this. He didn't show it much and she was alright with that, because in truth she preferred moments like this when it was unexpected and when she needed it most.

"Fenris, we should go to bed." She suggested sweetly. He chuckled and pulled his head back from hers.

"I agree." He replied pivoting, Hawke wrapped her arms around his neck as it seemed he planned on carrying her upstairs.

Fenris halted abruptly though shortly after turning around. He went tense. Hawke looked in the direction he was looking and saw Aveline standing in the doorway with a look of guilt and grief written on her handsome face.

"Aveline?" Hawke adventured slipping from Fenris' arms as he set her gently on her feet. "To what do I owe the pleasure this late at night?"

Aveline straightened her shoulders, but didn't movement. Her gaze shifted between Hawke and Fenris.

"Lena Hawke, by order of the Seneschal of Kirkwall and the Templar Order. I'm here to place you under arrest for the murder of Countess Alexa D'Ever."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9:

"What?" Hawke yelled at her. Aveline flinched but kept her gaze steady on Hawke. The other woman's features were twisted into fury. "I didn't kill anyone, Aveline!" Hawke snarled crossing her arms over her chest. "You know me! I would never…"

Aveline raised a hand silencing her. "I know, Hawke, but the evidence is stacked against you. I have a room full of bodies, one of which is the Countess whose father is looking for blood for his daughter's murder."

"His precious girl, hired goons to kidnap me and then threatened me and you all. What was I supposed to do? Stand there and take it." Hawke snapped "Oh, please come take the Viscount of Kirkwall at any point you want something…or better yet even if you don't like her, just kidnap her and she'll give you whatever you want."

Aveline rolled her eyes. "You finished?" Hawke glared at her. "I'm not going to arrest you, Hawke." Aveline stated.

"What? Then why…"

"I'm here to warn you. Officially I will be here in five minutes with a squadron of guards to arrest you. You have to leave." Aveline commanded.

"Aveline, I can't leave." Hawke blinked and shook her head. "I have to go before the people let them know what happened."

Aveline shook her head. "Hawke, you don't get it. Bran against you, the Templars are against you even Cullen has his doubts about you, the nobles are rallied against…"

Hawke opened her mouth to speak, but stopped. Fenris placed a hand on her shoulder. "I didn't know." She whispered. "All I've done for this city…I'm still just another mage in the end. How can they do this? Why would they do this?" Tears sprang to her eyes, but she dipped her head and wiped them away before they fell.

Aveline shook her head again. "I don't know, Hawke." She stated. "But you need to get going."

"No, it will make me guilty if I do run." Hawke refused.

Aveline pinched the bridge of her nose. "Hawke, they have evidence. They are looking for a speedy trial and a noose for your neck."

"They wouldn't dare." Fenris growled his hand squeezing Hawke's shoulder.

"They are looking for a convenient way to get rid of you." Aveline snapped back. "Look, we don't have time for this. Fenris," Aveline met the elf's gaze. "We talked about this. Ever since the rebellion at the White Spire a few months ago everything has been going to the Black City."

"Wait you two talked about this?" Hawke inquired with a raise of her eyebrow to Fenris and then at Aveline.

"Get her out of here." Aveline commanded as she turned away. "My guards will be here any moment. Explain what you can to her, once you're away from the city. Just keep her safe." Aveline felt tears prick her own as eyes as she watched Fenris nod his understanding. He knew what she was talking about. Donnic and he had discussed the events surrounding the White Spire. Donnic had asked him what he thought might happen with Hawke. Fenris had said nothing, because he wouldn't let them take Hawke. Hawke was his family. And he was hers. While she might not see it that way, it was the truth for him. "Go!"

"Shield!" Hawke called as she started past Aveline. The hound stood up and padded after her. "I don't want him hurt again." Hawke said as she started up the stairs.

"Hawke, where are you going?"

"To get my gear. I'm not leaving without my armor and my good staff as well as some gold. Screw it; I'm not starting off at the bottom completely from scratch again." She hollered over her shoulder at Aveline as she hurried up the marble steps.

"I have to go meet up with my men." Aveline said turning to leave. "I suggest you take the tunnels under the house. Make your way to the docks quickly and quietly. Isabella will have a ship ready to take you to the next port."

Fenris nodded and reached out a hand toward her. Aveline frowned and then took it. "You're a good woman, Aveline." He said shaking her hand. "I'm glad to have met you." Aveline nodded her head.

"Likewise, Fenris. Though you will have to tell her at some point." She stated gruffly releasing his hand. "You won't be able to hide it forever from her. She'll notice."

Fenris rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "Don't worry about Hawke and me." He said looking pointedly away from her.

"It's just my advice, Fenris. The sooner you tell her the better." Aveline waved a hand. "I have to go." Her long strides carried her out of the room and out the door in a matter of seconds.


	10. Chapter 10

Epilogue:

Hawke stood at the railing of the ship looking out over the vast gray green sea. The air was damp and smelled of salt. Gulls cried out over head, wheeling in white circles above their heads. The ship dipped and dove with the roll of the water. Her hair was caressed lovingly by the warm sea breeze.

An arm slipped around her waist. She smiled and leaned back her head resting it on the shoulder behind her. Closing her eyes she relaxed. It was the first time in weeks she had allowed herself to do so.

Fenris and she had been running from Kirkwall for about two weeks. Everything felt surreal. Isabella had dropped them at the nearest port and then headed back to Kirkwall to pick up Varric. Apparently the dwarf and her were going away on a little side trip for a while. Something to do with the King of Ferelden or some such. Hawke had worried about everyone left behind in Kirkwall. Orana, Merrill, Donnic, Aveline…so many people who could get in a lot of trouble just for knowing her.

Fenris tried to reassure her and even had talked her out of turning back a few times. Shield she had managed to get out of the house with her. Though the captain of this vessel had not seemed quite keen on the idea of having the mabari come aboard, the hound was acting on his best behavior.

It was Fenris she worried about now. His mood swings were getting worse and his temper seemed to trigger more and more at little things. His moods were never directed at her, but at the crew. She was worried they would get thrown off the ship if he got into one more growling match. Mostly what seemed to trigger his emotions were things about her and him. Hawke could understand, but it had never bothered him before. Usually he would just brush it off, no, something else was upsetting him. She also noticed every matched ended up with his markings glowing and it seemed to take him more and more time to get them to stop.

At night it was worst. She had woken up twice to find him clutching is head in pain. She had heard of lyrium poisoning, but never seen the side-effects of it. She would need to find some place where she could do some research on it. But it seemed to her, that his bouts would have started sooner. Maybe they had and he had been able to hide them because they were few and far between, but now they were getting more frequent.

"You're thinking about something." Fenris whispered in her ear.

"I'm worried about you." She said back without moving. He felt good, warm and comfortable.

"Don't be." He placed a kiss on her temple.

"Sorry, too late." She chuckled and turned fully around. Opening her eyes she met his. "I worry that your markings are affecting you. They are pure lyrium." She commented running a finger softly across one of the markings on his arm. "It's poison, Fenris. It could end up driving you insane."

He shook his head. "Hawke, you'll drive me insane long before my markings will." He quipped reaching up to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear.

"True," she replied but her heart felt heavy. "I just feel like I'm borrowing time with you. I don't like it."

"Hawke, don't." He demanded he let his hand cup her jaw. He tilted her head back slightly enough that she was forced to meet his eyes. "I will stay with you until the day I die. I am yours." With that he kissed her sweeping away her fears into the great vastness of the rolling waves around them. But even as they kissed a single tear slid down Hawke's cheek. She knew someday, she would lose even him.


End file.
